Bro even when Will came here, nurse Leela came to question me with personal questions and to tell me not to tell anyone lies about her. I hadn't. She also said that I should smile more. I respected her greatly, I don't want things to go like this. Why can I never trust anyone fully? Will came in between us and said that he's gonna take me out for a walk and has no time to waste in the situation. (What a gentleman! <3 ) He totally saved my butt! I haven't got my full dose of SSRI's today so I have been extra depressed... After the crisis I had, nothing has soothed me more than to reminice how "I was lovable once". To have the security of seeming normal to other people. To have the power to hide anything from everyone. When I'm being hidden by shadows and a sea of people, I feel safe. Safe, yet paralysed from internalised embarassment.